Reflections and Regrets
by Deluded Visions
Summary: Takes place during 4x3. Peyton reacts to Brooke's comment.


_"I guess your mom slept around even more than you do"_

The words reverberated in her head as she watched Brooke saunter away.

It cut, deep.

How had it come to this? Her oldest, dearest friend in the whole wide world had effectively called her mother, her recently deceased mother, a whore.

Peyton bit down hard on her lip until she could taste blood. She was afraid to open her mouth as a cry threatened to escape.

Brooke had always been there. The last 10 years she had been her go to person. They had planned to grow old together and even die together, on the same day at the ripe old age of 100 - Best Friends Forever.

Even when she had been shot that fateful day. She was freaked and pretty much lost her head but the first thing that had popped into her to her mind after the incident was Brooke and whether she was ok. She recalled the days the days of building snow forts, putting makeup on each other, making up their own dance moves and planning elaborate careers for themselves.

It pained her to think it had been thrown all away, because of a guy. She wondered bitterly whatever had happened to 'Ho's over Bros'? She was never going to act on her feelings, heck the way it went down you would have thought she planned to jump Luke right there and then. She was simply trying to be honest about her feelings for once. Brooke had tried to get her to be so all these years. All that touchy & feely crap, it had never been her. She had watched an episode of Dr Phil the day before and he talked about how being open was the key. But it had backfired big time on her and she had promptly decided that Dr Phil was a hack. What did he and Oprah know anyway?

She had desperately hoped that Brooke had shown up at the store on her birthday. At the time she wasn't too phased as it has become about Lucas and his loss. At the time she hadn't let herself reflect on what it all meant.

As it was she had prepared Brooke's 18th present a few weeks back before the big blow out. Deciding on something extra special for the big day she had painstakingly spent hours on a portrait of the two of them together, and had it framed. It was her best work yet that would unfortunately never see the light of day. She also had custom made two 'Best Friend charm necklaces made. But instead of the obligatory 'Best Friends', it had an intertwined B & P with engraving of their pet names for each other on the back. Now it sat in her drawer, untouched. Along with the portrait.

Balling up her fists she made her way out into the backyard, tears welling up in her eyes, she wasn't going to let anyone see her cry. The days of Emo!Peyton were behind her.

She jumped as someone tapped her shoulder from behind. Spinning around she found Derek peering at her worriedly. He had a creepy way of popping up at the most unexpected moments. "You ok?" He queried. Shaking it off she grinned - Peyton Sawyer, ever the Master of Disguise. "Yeah sure. Just having a girly moment. So how are you enjoying your first Tree Hill party?"

The blonde boy grinned. "It's great".

"Yeah you looked like you were enjoying yourself as you were making out with Brooke"!

He grinned sheepishly.

Not sure how to approach the subject, she continued. "You know she and I used to be great friends, best friends in fact"

"Big fall out?" He surmised.

"Big" she nodded. "And so she may have been just using you for my benefit…" she trailed off, hating the way it sounded.

Derek grinned "being used by a hot cheerleader, I don't mind at all"

Peyton smiled, relieved. "Not that she would want to kiss you if there wasn't a way to get back at me through it. She has a weakness for cute blonde dudes".

Derek's smile grew wider

"You think I'm cute?"

Peyton blushed. "Well, no... yeah" She was at a loss for words. What did you say when your brother asked such a thing? Admittedly he was fairly good looking, not attractive in the sense that she would lust over, but that was a very good thing considering incest was illegal and icky at that! He was a Poor Man's Lucas. Though she cringed at the thought, for not thinking highly enough of Derek and too highly of Lucas.

He laughed at her obvious discomfort. "Want a drink?"

She nodded enthusiastically and as she watched her newly found brother walk off to grab them some drinks, she quietly wondered how many drinks it would take to get as toasted as Mouth.


End file.
